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20230119_Carter_(436)

  • 23. 01. 19.
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Yesterday, i went to hospital for checking my Liver and weight. and i really really freaked out because i could see my maximum weight in my life and i have a little bit fatty-liver. in the meantime, i used to eat whatever i want that don't care the time and food. Recently, i felt something in my body about bad thing. i known it indistinctly. my body was graduately fatty as i see. but i did ignore that. i thought that it is likely was fine, can cope with this situation and will reduce to eat food and eat foods healthly. but i was not do that. i always procrastinated to other days. i think that my future self deals with them. but looking back, i have to cope with my present self. so, i will eat the food healthy and go to the gym after finished surgery. until that, i will walk around the park or my place. i taken my time to work out for my health. and i don't want to pill but i have to do for recovering my liver. i can realize that important of health again. if i have been lost my health and have a goal, i don't have a way to reach to there. so, i realized that i have to check my health regularly and keep my health. and the most scary thing is that i might cost a lot of money to recovery my health in the abroad. maybe it is the best scary thing to me. and i already known it what is keeping the health is hard. i know my problem and know how to fix it. one of my problem is eat a lot foods even the vegetable and fruits. now, i will split time to eat that anything. i won't eat all of thing once.

after visiting the hospital, i looked at myself through mirror. there was some fatty person who seems not to have interest everything and no smile. i couldn't believe that the fatty person is me. i was self-reflecte when i looked at myself. especially, when i face my eyes through the mirror, i could look at my eyes that no passionate. i always thought that i have a passion, enthsiastic and energetic because i have a goal that want to reach. but it was lie at least. i was just thinking in my head that i have a goal and so i will practice harder. it is so funny. and now, i will practice to be smile at least three times on a day. let's not break down myself.

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