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20230126_Carter_(444)

  • 23. 01. 26.
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one of my friends texts to me about your appointments that going to camping. it was still remained it in my memory but i didn't expect it to go there. because these days are too freeze to go out. i did explain it to my friends. but they don't want to listen my telling. they said, we have to go there unconditionally. it doesn't matter how the weather is freezing and said that we are young and have power to go there. and i said, we are not young anymore and be carefully anything. also, i am not meant not to go there. these days are too chilly to go outside, i just suggest them to change the place. at that time, one of my friends said, it was the romantic. and i said, it doesn't related with romantic, the only thing that relevant is that survive from the freeze and it is the crazy thing to go there. i just want to concentrate on enjoying with ourselves. or change the schedule. we were starting to discuss and not to get a result. i really want to go there with my friends but i don't have any confidence to alive in there. maybe we have to cancel our schedule.


it comes closer to my schedule that surgery. it lefts only 4 days. i have half and half about excited and nervous. but i already know that one thing is i am trying to change myself. in the meantime, i didn't really care about myself. i don't want to buy the new clothes and not to try to put cosmetics on my face but i can feel after cared myself. i have got better skin than before and i know how to make up of hair. i washed and dried before. funny thing is that's it. i realized how i live on my one's way. i couldn't find out myself before but when i want to get a goal, i really known what should i changed and how should i change it. nowadays, i am really foucs on saving the money more than studying. i am just keeping study only 1~2 hours in a day. and other time is trying to get a part time job until the may. and the june is that i quit my job and tide up my stuff for going there. because i want to achieve what i want. and from now, i have to control my time as well effectively. now i have to do harder. in the meantime, i had to do constantly and i saved my energy but it is time for me to burn out through my energy.

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