20221102_Carter_(343)
After getting off the work, today is time for me to go to the dermatology. i want to make improvemnet my skin states. everything is alright. my skin is geng better and i can look at the my good skin states as time goes by .but it`s so painful while i got this at dermatology. While i got surgical procedure, i really want to back to the time that before i was signed. i think i`m really good at patient about pain. but it`s like a other thing. to be honest, i can stand it but whenever the needle stab to my skin, how can i explain this pain to other people. at that time i really want to run away. Also, i really respect people to get plastic surgery. i think that they want to achieve someting beyond pain when they got surgery something. i also want to get better skin more that now. that why i don`t retractiong until now. i have to go there every 2 weeks. i can`t adept the pain. when i see my skin is getting better, i have to go there. because it`s work to me. in my mind, i really do not want to go there. i think this place is hell. there are hope and dispair both. both of them coexist in there. Ah.. i know that now. it`s like peeve pain when the needle stab to me. also i don`t like needle. like a Ross in Friends. i figure out why i don`t want to go there. these days, too busy to be out of my mind. when i get surgical procedure, my eyes and mouth is closeing strongly to be patient the pain. after finishing it, my clothes a little wet. so, i always decide to manage my skin. this memory about pain fules me to manage harder. i say myself that hang in there it will not be long. and it took a toll on my mental health. i never want to get this experience. hold a grudge against myself about managemnet.
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